What Is Expected of Them Today? By William F. Wegher

Have you ever wondered why some people have very involved godparents and sponsors, while others don’t even know theirs?  Perhaps part of the problem is that many godparents and sponsors were chosen for the wrong reasons, or because those same people don’t really know what they’re supposed to do! Do you?  This update will help us to better understand these roles.

Most of us at some point have to choose either a godparent for our children or a sponsor for ourselves, but how do we choose these people?  Or you yourself may someday be asked to be a godparent or sponsor.  What is expected of a sponsor or godparent today?

Take for example Julie and John a happy, “thirty something” couple who have just had their first child.  They’re really into their Catholic faith, so they’re excited to have their baby baptized.  A big family celebration is planned, but John and Julie are wondering about godparents.  What about John’s sister and her husband who helped Julie out so much during her pregnancy?  It would be a great way to thank them – but they don’t practice their faith.  Or how about Julie’s best friend, Mary, who is actively involved in a young Catholic adult program, even though Mary’s husband is a devout practicing Protestant?  Will this be all right with the Church?

Or take Kevin, an eighth-grader who will be confirmed at the end of the school year.  He has asked his cool older brother, Mark, who goes to college 300 miles away, to be his Confirmation sponsor.  Mark, who looks like he just stepped out of the latest teen TV show, knows how much Kevin idolizes him, but he feels a bit uneasy about being a sponsor.  Mark respects Kevin’s faith and his decision to be confirmed, but he really hasn’t gone to church or practiced his faith these last few years.  Should Mark be honest with Kevin, and “just say no”?  Should he not say anything and just accept?  Or should Mark accept, but take a new, more serious look at his own faith?

Sponsors for Confirmation

FOR CONFIRMATION CANDIDATES

How to choose a sponsor

Confirmation can be a great experience, and hopefully you’ve thought a lot about what this sacrament means, and how the Holy Spirit will affect your life.  You’ll be required to have a sponsor – someone who will guide you and share the story of faith with you.  A good sponsor will make this process a little easier and even more fun.

If all has gone as planned, the best person will be one of your baptismal godparents.  The Catechism (#1311) and canon law (#892-893) both tell us that you need a sponsor.  Having one of your godparents helps us to see how Baptism and Confirmation are connected.  Sadly, by the time they get to Confirmation, many young people no longer know their godparents, or they’re no longer good role models.  Or maybe they just live too far away.  These young people will need to choose a new sponsor.

Some advice to the candidates:  You’re looking for someone you trust, whose faith you admire and who will be there for you.  The requirements mentioned for godparents earlier also apply to sponsors: that they be confirmed Catholics, at least 16 years old (for maturity) and practicing members of the Church, while not being your parents.  This means you can choose a relative, friend or someone from your parish as your sponsor.  Remember Kevin and his brother Mark of uncertain faith that we mentioned earlier?  Let’s see how all this applies to them.

As much as Kevin admires his brother, Kevin shouldn’t choose Mark as a sponsor.  And Mark shouldn’t accept either.  He isn’t a bad person, but Mark has some faith issues he needs to work out first.  Right now, Kevin needs someone who is active in church, can share why faith is important to him and who lives close enough to help Kevin with his preparation.  So in choosing a sponsor, Kevin needs to take all these things seriously.  So do you!  Pray about it, and when you think you have the right person, ask him or her to help you grow in faith by being your sponsor!

FOR SPONSORS

Be at your best.

If you have been chosen to be a Confirmation sponsor, congratulations!  This person sees in you a profound faith commitment, finds trust and knows you are someone who will care about them and their faith.  Sounds impressive, doesn’t it?  It’s not all that complicated, but it does take time, a caring heart and a listening ear.  If you’re a practicing, mature Catholic, don’t get too worried.  Hear are a few suggestions on how to be the best possible sponsor for your candidate:

• Be a living model of faith.  At least a part of what this young person admires in you is your faith!  If the way you practice your faith is not what it should be, “get it together,” so to speak!  If you honestly can’t, this is understandable, but maybe you should decline the invitation to be a sponsor.  Your life doesn’t have to become artificially saintly, but your faith should be authentic and sincere.

• Pray for your candidate and yourself.  As candidates decide to be confirmed, they need spiritual strength.  Your prayers for them are important, but don’t forget to pray for yourself also, that you can share why you value and practice your Catholicism.  Attend Mass together, or even have the courage to come to Reconciliation together.

• Give of your time and share your gifts.  You’ll be asked to spend time together on various activities.  This may mean preparing lessons or even working on a Christian service project.  You could also share your own experiences or write a letter of encouragement.  Let your unique God-given talents and gifts shine!  Offer a gift of spiritual significance – a new Bible, rosary or book about our faith or about the saint the candidate has chosen for a Confirmation name – but be creative and relevant!

• Don’t miss the ceremony.  Participating in the ceremony is the easiest part of being a sponsor.  Your basic job will be to place your hand on your candidates shoulder, and tell the bishop your candidate’s Confirmation name.  You’re there to be a support, but your role on Confirmation day is only beginning.

Don’t forget this newly confirmed Catholic.  After Confirmation day, remember birthdays and this anniversary.  Send a card or make a phone call.  Continue to worship together, or from time to time do some Christian service.  Put those “Gifts of the Spirit” into practice.